Weigh-in total

Woohoo!!! I lost 4.5 this week and a total of 12.3 lbs for the month. I can tell that my clothes are getting looser and some people have noticed. I did really good this week but one reason is because I had a bad tooth and haven't really been able to eat.

I just need to continue to monitor what I eat and drink my water. I'm loving the "high" I get when I step on the scale and it goes down. I don't think there is any better feeling. It validates all the work I have done.

This week my goal is to start excersing and to continue to eat healthy and not give in to the fatty inside me that says it's okay to eat it no one will know.

Here's to a happy Tuesday and healthy choices.

Why do I do this...

This past week was BAD. We had a going away party for my boss on Friday and at first I did really good. I chose the veggies instead of donuts. But after about 2 hours I said screw it, it's a free day so I gorged. I was so sick when I left work.

Then this weekend I went to the store and "secretly" bought a candy bar and ate it really quick before I got home. I don't know who I was hiding it from because it only hurts me. I guess I figure if no one sees me eat it then it doesn't count. I really need to change this thinking but I just don't know how.

So here's to realizing that it hurts me and no one else and to healthy choices!!

Weekly Weigh-in

I tried to eat right this weekend and I think I did pretty good, but I know that I also either overate or just ate bad things. I tell myself it's a cheat day then a cheat day turns into a cheat week. I have to stop doing that. I need to keep focusing on my goals and how much better I will feel with this weight off of me.

I lost 1.3 lbs this week. I'm happy with that but I probably would have lost more if I would have stayed focus and not give in to temptation.

Here's to a good week and making healthy choices.

I survived!!

So yesterday my supervisor came down my row and said there were donuts down the cash team row. My first thought was how good the chocolate frosting would be but immediately I saw the donut going right to my butt!! So I continued to obsess about how good the donut would be. I walked down the isle where the donuts were, I walked by the isle like 5 times. As soon as I thought about eating one the picture of my butt getting bigger popped in my head.

I am proud to say I didn't eat the donut and I survived. That is the biggest revelation that I will survive without the donuts and all other unhealthy junk! I'm very proud of myself. That is why I truly believe I'm gonna do it this time because I have made huge strides in the past week and a half.

I know there will be bumps in the road but I can't let those get me down. I must keep on keeping on!! Here's to a safe weekend and making healthy choices!!!

I did it!!

Well  made it through my first full week and I feel great. I'm making some very good decisions but also am letting myself splurge. I think that is the key, don't get on yourself for having that cookie. If we don't indulge every once in a while we are never going to stick with healthy eating.

I'm so happy to have lost 4.8 lbs this week. I worked really hard to lose this and it makes all the work worth it. Now I need to get back into walking. I don't have much time to enjoy the outdoors before it starts raining again.

Here's to making healthy choices!!!

ON THE ROAD AGAIN!!!

Day 2 went really good thanks to tips from my best friend Becca!! On my computer at work every 2 hrs it reminds me to finish my water. I love this idea, it really keeps me motivated to finish before the alarm!! So I was wondering what things do you use to help you during the day?

It's gonna take sometime for me to figure out what is worth eating and what to pass on. I was getting a good grasp on this before I fell off the wagon. I know it won't take that long it's just frustrating that I let myself go back to the old way of eating.

I have a 4 yr old daughter who I can see that because of my choices she isn't eating what she should and that breaks my heart. I don't want her to have to deal with her weight for the rest of her life like I have. I guess she is one of the biggest motivations I have.

Here's to it being the middle of the week and to healthy choices!!

I'M BAAACCCKKK!!

Long time no post, well that's about to change. So I fell off the wagon after my dad passed away and I started my new job. I love my job and the people I work with are awesome. But, I sit at a desk all day which means I can eat all day. We have snack days or people bring food in about once a week. And just has my blog title states I have no self-control. Well that's going to stop. NO more excuses. So here goes round 2 and I'm going to win this one.

So I weighed in today and I'm not where I started last time so that is good but I gained quite a bit back. So here it is 258.1 lbs. That's okay.

Here's to new beginnings and to making healthy choices.

Long time no see

Wow life has been crazy the past few weeks. So on April 21 I received a phone call that my dad was being taken to the hospital for pneumonia and for his liver. He has had hepatitis and cirrhosis of the liver for a long time now. So I thought okay we will go see him, just another flair up. But, when they were checking him into his room his heart started acting up and so the transferred him to ICU. We thought he would be in there for a day or so and then everything would be okay.

Every time my dad is in the hospital he will have really bad days but always bounce back. This time was different. He just kept getting worse. On the 26th they told us he was in respiratory distress and would not make it out of the hospital. We were all in shock. We had lost our mom on December 27,2005 and were not ready to lose our dad. He fought a good fight but it was time for him to go see my mom. He has wanted to be with her since the day she passed. Knowing he isn't in any pain helps, but it's still very hard. Rest In Peace Father June 26,1950-April 27,2011.

So that week I received an email for a job that I had an interview for at the beginning of the month. They wanted me to do a background check and a drug test!! So I did those and they called me this Monday to offer the job to me!! I started orientation yesterday and officially start my job on Tuesday!! YAY!! So excited. So needless to say I'm gonna be a busy girl. It's a full-time job, Monday-Friday. I will continue to blog but I don't know how often.

Happy Mother's Day and please let everyone know in your life how much you care about them. You truly never know what will happen.

Love you!! Dance with mother :)

Weekly Weigh-in

Weigh-in 250.5 -1.3!! Very happy with this, but really wanted to get under 250! This is my goal for this week!

So I feel much better about blogging now that I've decided to do it when I want to instead of feeling obligated to post everyday. It really became a chore and that's not why I started this. I started blogging to help keep me and anyone else motivated and as a journal for me. When I first started it really did help me and I enjoyed doing a post everyday, but now it's not so much fun. So please continue to read even if it's not as regular as before. I enjoy reading every one's comments!

Thanks to everyone who reads this and here's to healthy choices!!

Boring...

So I'm not sure if I just have a really boring life or if everyone else just has really exciting life's. I read other blogs and think to myself "Wow, I never have anything that exciting happen to me". I sit down to start blogging and have to really think of things to say. I don't know maybe I just need to write down everything that my daughter says or does or every crazy thought that enters my mind.

Some days it's so easy for me to blog, but lately I just can't think of anything to say. I guess that's the way my life is going. I'm so tired and just so blah about everything. Maybe I need a change of pace or something. I'm just really frustrated...

Here's to healthy choices!!

Picture Day!!

I thought I would share some pictures from this weekend!!

My beautiful daughter!!

My sister, brother, me and our dad

The happy couple

I love this dog!!

Happy Hump day and here's to healthy choices!!

Recommitting

Weekly weigh-in 251.8 -.4

Okay...I didn't do as well as I was hoping, but at least I lost!!! I'm hoping that next week I get under 250!! I'm recommitting to exercise this week. The last few weeks I have really slacked off in this area and I know that has a lot to do with my weigh-ins. So I'm determined to get back into walking.

My whole family enjoys getting out and walking together so I need to just embrace that. I feel like I'm not getting anything out of it when I walk with my daughter, but just getting up and doing something is better then sitting on the couch. And it's good for my daughter to get some exercise,too. She definitely goes to bed easier when she has walked.

My goal is to lose 5 lbs a month and the rate I'm going this month that is not gonna happen, I'll be lucky to lose 3. So time to recommit and get down to business. I've also noticed that when I don't blog I lose motivation. I guess I feel obligated to lose weight and be healthy when I'm blogging. I don't know if obligated is the right word, but it helps me a lot when I post.

What are you working on this week? Here's to healthy choices!!!

OH YEAH BABY!!!

This weekend was a blast (even though I was sick)!! On Saturday we had the celebration for my sister and her husband!! I didn't take a huge portion of dinner and was actually unable to eat the whole plate!! I actually thought to myself, "okay your full so stop" and so I did!! Then came dessert time, I was so nervous about this, but I did good. I let my aunt cut the cheesecakes so they were smaller portions then I normally cut and I had 1 piece and stopped. I'm not gonna lie I was tempted to go back for another, but knew it wasn't worth it!! At the end of the party I wrapped up the leftover dinner and cheesecake and sent them home with my sister!! I've been thinking about the cheesecake since Saturday, but it doesn't hurt thinking about it!!

My husband is off of school all this week, so hopefully we will get some quality family time in!! We got our potatoes planted in our garden yesterday. I can't wait for the fresh veggies!! I'm looking forward to seeing my weigh-in tomorrow! I'm feeling good about my choices this week and I truly believe it was a good thing for me to gain weight, it got me back on track!!

Have a wonderful Monday and here's to healthy choices!!

Weekly weigh in 252.2 +.6 and I'm pissed

I'm not mad because I gained weight and thought I shouldn't have no I'm pissed at myself. I relaxed and stopped drinking water, tracking what I eat etc. This was a good reminder to me that I need to be vigilant every minute of the day. There is no not worrying about it for a few days, no I need to worry about all the time. So, I guess it was a good thing that I gained weight, it was just the kick in the butt that I needed.

Sorry I haven't been posting this week. I have this horrible sinus thing going on. So just taking it easy!!

Hope everyone is having a good week and here's to healthy choices!!

Recap

I had a great weekend!! My scentsy party was awesome, got to hang out with friends and we ended up only having to go to Springfield on Sunday!!! I think I did pretty good with my eating this weekend. Of course, I wasn't perfect but I think I did good.

So this week is super busy for me, on one hand I'm excited about it, but on the other it stresses me out having so much planned. But, by the grace of God, I'll get through it. Saturday we are having a party for my sister and her new husband so I'm excited. I have to make 2 cheesecakes for it and that is my favorite thing in this entire world. I would like to think that I'll stay away from them, but I know me and I won't. As soon as it gets cut I'll be digging in. Maybe I should hang my skirt up in the living room so I can see it all night!!

So how was your weekend? Here's to healthy choices!!

The Agenda

In my opinion today is the worst day ever. I absolutely hate this day. I just don't understand how doing tricks on people is fun and how it became a holiday? I don't maybe it's because I'm so gullible and when I was younger I always got tricks played on me or maybe it's because I can't ever think of any good tricks to do on people, but I really wish I could just sleep through this day!

So this weekend I am having a Scentsy party and can't wait. I think it's just what I need after the week that I have had. Having  friends come over and just hang out for the evening is gonna be great!! I don't really get out of the house or really have that many friends so when I get to hang out with the girls it's really special to me. I'm trying to come up with some good snack foods to have that are healthy but that everyone will enjoy. So if  you have any suggestions please let me know.

Sunday we have about 200 miles of driving to do around Oregon. We have to go to my hubby's work study site to see where it's at. He has his interview on Monday and then we have to go the opposite direction to Springfield.(not gonna tell you why, don't want to jinx anything!) So lots of sitting, but I'm gonna pack snacks for the ride so we don't stop and just get junk!!

So what do you have planned for the weekend? Do you like this holiday? Here's to healthy choices

Confessions!!

So after yesterday's heavy topic I decided  to just have a fun post!! But, first I want to thank everyone for their words of encouragement!! You truly don't know how much it means to me, so thanks!

I really don't know what to post about so I think I'll do a confession!! Confessions are always fun to do and read!! I'm willing to confess that I hate, hate water!! I know huge right? I drink it every day and always tell people to drink their water, but the thought of drinking it makes me sick. I know what your thinking our bodies naturally need water, well I'm a fat girl and my body needs pop not water!!

I will also confess that I love pie, I would say at least once a week I ask Becca to go get pie with me. Thankfully, she is an awesome best friend and tells me no. I ask her on purpose so she tells me no!! I know there's others that are totally supportive of this journey, but love pie too so they won't tell me no!!

Well happy Thursday and here's to healthy choices!!

The Fight

I have fought with major depression for as long as I can remember and today it's hitting me full force. The last few weeks I've been having problems with my anxiety and anger especially with my daughter. It's not like I've hurt her, it's just I hear her talking (she is really loud), she doesn't listen or she gets in my face and I can't handle it. I have anxiety medicine but I hate having to rely on medicine so that I can be a normal person.

I see all these parents who are patient, loving, kind and I'm so jealous. Sometimes I'm that way but for the most part I'm not. I don't know what to do anymore...

I have prayed, I read the bible everyday and it helps, but I guess I need a little more help. I have been off of my medications for my depression for awhile now, but I can see that it's time to start them again. It makes me sad that I can't function without medication, but it's what's best for me and my family. I love my daughter with all my heart and I feel like such a failure of a mom for having these problems. My mom was never like this and I feel like I should be just like her. She loved having kids and no matter what was going on in her life she loved us and never got so angry or anxious with us.

I know I shouldn't compare myself to anyone else, but that's really hard to do. I just hope Erin doesn't grow up to despise me because of my problems. I know that at 4 yrs old she already has had to deal with so much from me and I feel so guilty for that.

Sorry this isn't about weight loss but it's all a process and everything ties in with each other. Here's to healthy choices!!! I love you Erin!!

Enjoy the Day!!

Weekly weigh-in 251.6  -2lbs!! Total of 5.6 lbs this month!! I met my goal of losing 5 lbs a month!!

I had a great weekend, we took our daughter to see the monster trucks in Eugene. She had so much fun!! Joe and I both love going to see them so it was wonderful to take our daughter with us. She loved Gravedigger and the "orange one"!! Orange is her favorite color :)

Sunday I went to church and the message was very heavy. I'm glad that I was there to hear it, but it was one of those messages that you walk away from happy, scared, sad just all sorts of emotions. I ended up with a migraine that evening and have been dealing with that since. NO, I don't think it caused from church!! :)

Today I'm headed to the cemetery to go visit my mom, that sounds weird but I don't know how else to word it. I haven't been there in a while so I think it's time. I talk to her on a daily basis, but sometimes I just need to go to her grave. It's really hard to do but it's something I feel like I need to do.

So needless to say today isn't the best day, but life goes on and it's taken me a long time to get to the point where I can say that. I miss her everyday and to this day I catch myself trying to call her or just wishing I could hear her one last time or just see her smile. I've started talking with Erin about her grandma and that she is in heaven and I truly believe that this has helped me in the healing process. I'm not sure I will ever get over the fact that my mom is gone, but I know that I will be able to not be so sad about it. Sometimes it feels like it just happened but yet sometimes I feel as though it's been years. I guess it's just the grieving process.

I just ask you to make sure that the people in your life know how much you care about them and enjoy every second of the day because you never know what God has planned for you. God Bless and here's to healthy choices!!!

My new gear

Guess what I got in the mail this weekend? My t-shirt from Running For Him!! I finally was able to wear it today!!

The front and my daughter!!

The back!!

I absolutely love it, go check out the website!! I walk 1.8 miles today in about 40 minutes  and it felt wonderful!!! It's a lot easier walking when you have a friend walking with you, it didn't even feel like we walked that long. Thanks Julie!!! I'm looking forward to working up to walking a 5k!!

I have set a new goal for me. I would like to be in a size 16 by August. One of my best friends is getting married in August so I would like to be able to fit into one of my skirts that I have. It's great motivation, I have the skirt I want to wear laying out so everyday I see it and it reminds me of my goal.

Happy TGIF!!! Here's to healthy choices!!!

Wacky

So I really don't have much to say so I thought I would do a post about wacky things about me.

1. I eat food by two's and by color
2. My toe next to my big toe is longer then my big toe
3. I pronounce the t in mountain dew
4. I always get the urge to open the car door while driving
5. I have opened the door while driving
6. I eat my Big Mac's layer by layer
7. I pick all my food apart
8. I hate odd numbers, but my favorite numbers are 7 &13
9. I say mortorcycle instead of motorcycle
10. I always dream about death

So what are some wacky things about you? Here's to healthy choices!!!

Change of Plans!!

Weigh in: 253.6 -.7!! Woohoo!!

My husband and I had a wonderful mini vacation despite not doing everything we had planned. So on Thursday we headed to the coast and it was a non eventful trip there. We found our hotel and decided that we wanted to go down to the boardwalk. Well, after we walked around for a little while we got in the car and our power steering light went on and we lost the power steering. My husband turned it off and restarted it hoping that would reset it, but that lasted for like 30 seconds. So we took it to the dealership and the service department was closed.

We went back to the hotel ordered pizza and just relaxed for the evening! Got to get into the hot tub and the pool, man did that feel good, so in the morning my husband took the car back to the dealership and they said they couldn't help him. So we had to come home that day. :(

We still had an awesome weekend just the two of us!! We went shopping and just hung out!! Our daughter had a great time with the family, but she hasn't stopped talking since we picked her up on Sunday :) I think she is making up for the four days we were away!!!

I was dreading getting on the scale today since I didn't think I did so good, but apparently I'm more aware of what I'm eating then I thought!! So I'll take the .7!!!

Hope everybody is having a good Tuesday and here's to healthy choices!!

Here comes the bride!!!

I was up most of the night with knee pain and when I finally fell asleep it was for just a couple of hours. When I got up I felt pretty good, but a couple of hours later I ended up with a migraine. Needless to say I have been in bed most of the day. Got a lot to do before tomorrow so time to suck it up.

On a better note, I just found out my sister is getting married tomorrow!! YAY!! She lives in North Carolina so, of course, we won't be there, but I'm so happy for her!! She is getting married on St. Patrick's day, which is cool because our maiden name is Lucky!! And my anniversary is on the 19th so it's just really cool.

Time to go clean house and pack!! Have a great week and weekend!! Here's to healthy choices!! Congrats to Kendra and Jr!!! Love you guys!

Here's to me!!!

Weigh in 264.3 -1.1, you know what that means? I did it 10.6 lost so far since February 1st!! Woohoo!! I'm so happy, I thought for sure I was going to gain this week.

Me 10 lbs lighter!!

I went for a walk today with my new pedometer, love it. I walked .91 of a mile and took 2380 steps. Pretty happy with that. Can't say my knee is happy with me but doing lots of ice and ibuprofen.

Happy Tuesday and here's to healthy choices!!

Recommitting

The weekends are horrible. I eat whatever I want and rationalize it to myself.

fat self: "Oh it's the weekend"
brain: "but you've done so good this week"
fat self: "I know but I don't get to eat Chinese food very often or I'm doing something with my friends I shouldn't have to eat a salad while they eat whatever they want."
brain: "Don't you want to be healthy, be happy with yourself, lose that .5 lbs to get to 10 lbs lost"
fat self: "oh just shut up I can eat whatever I want"

Consequently I'm stressing about weigh-in tomorrow. I know I probably gained back everything I lost last weekend and on Thursday I'm going on a mini vacation. I'm so stressed about my choices this coming weekend and don't want to ruin our weekend worrying so much on making the right choice.

This healthy lifestyle thing is so much harder than I thought it would be. I was doing so good and now I feel as though I have it a brick wall. I feel like I'm letting myself down, my daughter, my husband and everyone who is supporting me. I hate letting other people down. Maybe that's the problem maybe I should hate letting myself down more than I hate letting other people down. Ultimately who is this going to affect more me or everyone else. It's ME!! I guess I just need to do my Whys again and just remind myself why I started this journey and why it's gonna be so worth it!! Oh by the way I've started crocheting again and that is helping with my snacking. My hands and brain are keeping busy so I don't have time or the urge to snack!!

Well I hope everyone had a great weekend and has a great week!! I'm so looking forward to Thursday and just reconnecting with my husband.

WAH!!! But I want to!!

I took my daughter to the Dr. on Wednesday and while we were there I asked about my knee. My Dr said that I can't run right now and just to focus on walking. I am pretty bummed out about it as I was actually excited to run!! But, that's okay as long as I'm doing something I should be happy.

My knee is still hurting pretty bad. The Dr told me to ice it, take ibuprofen, wear a brace if I feel like I need the support and to just take it easy. So that's what I've been trying to do. My husband bought me a pedometer today!! So excited can't wait to walk tomorrow and see how it tracks. It is suppose to track my calories burned, time, how many steps etc. So that will be interesting.

Looking forward to this upcoming week. On Thursday my husband and I are going to the coast for our anniversary!! Can't wait, it's been a long time since we have taken a vacation and being alone. Gonna miss our daughter but I think it will be a nice break for everyone!!

Well hope you have a great weekend!!

unknown

Am I the only one that has troubles thinking of title's for their posts?

So my knee is still hurting pretty bad. It hurts to bend it, keep it straight, I've been up the last few nights because it hurts so bad. I keep telling myself that it's just sore, but I started to cry while driving yesterday because I was getting pains all the way down my leg. Pretty sure it's more than just sore. So I have decided to continue to walk everyday, but hold off on the running for now. I'm thinking maybe it's just too much weight for my joints to handle right now. I don't know just a guess.

So this week has been going really good. I have made really good food choices, been staying active, and writing down everything that goes in my mouth. I am loving counting calories. I never realized how many calories fruit as in it. I know they are good calories but I was still surprised.

How has your week been going? It's almost the weekend!!!

Drumroll Please

Weigh in: 255.4 -1.8
That means since February 1st I have lost 9.5 lbs. I'm so happy with that!! I have slowly changed my eating habits, but have still let myself splurge!!

I mentioned yesterday that my knees are really hurting me. Well, I was up a lot last night because the pain in my right knee was so bad. I thought maybe if I stretched it and walked around today that it would maybe loosen up, boy was I wrong. It hurts so bad right now. I'm really discouraged because I really want to be able to run, but it hurts so bad today I don't know how I'm gonna be able too.

Today is my rest day before I start week 2 of c25k tomorrow so I'm gonna do lots of icing and elevating and hopefully it starts feeling better. I thought about putting a brace on but I'm afraid that is just gonna make it weaker.

Okay I'm done whining!! The sun is shining and honestly I love it!! Those of you that know me are probably thinking Ive gone mad!! I absolutely love the rain, but it's nice to hear the birds chirping in the morning, opening the blinds and having the sun shining in!! Everybody seems to be so much happier when the sun is shining!!

Well have a great Tuesday everyone!! Hope you have a wonderful day and eat lots of good stuff!!

Craziness

Since Friday my life has been crazy. I got called for an interview at 3:30 and I had to be there by 4. So wasn't ready for that. Then on Saturday we went out to dinner for my friends 30th birthday!! I was so proud of myself. My husband "coach" and I went for my walk/jog before dinner and I made pretty good choices. I had the steam veggies for my side dish and for the dinner salad I had dressing on the side, no cheese or bacon on the salad. YAY me!! Just a month or so ago I would have had the loaded garlic mashed potatoes and had them load my salad with cheese, bacon and dressing! It's amazing how my mind has started to switch in just a month. BUT, I had 2 yes 2 drinks. :( But, I never drink so I thought it was okay.

On Sunday my church celebrated it's 5th anniversary!! So there was a potluck after church. I got lots of veggies and fruit and felt satisfied until I saw the CHOCOLATE CAKE my worse/favorite thing oh and white chocolate macadamia nut cookies. I knew if I didn't at least taste them I would go home and binge. I took 3 bites of the cake and threw it out, but I did finish the cookie. And yes it was worth it!!! So good!!

Today I got called for a different interview and after that we went to Costco. Did really good there, didn't by any sweets or anything!! When we got home we went for the final day of week one!! I have to admit that day 3 was harder than day 2 and day 2 was harder than day 1. I felt like I was barely moving today and my knees (especially my right one) are killing me. I can barely move. I don't know if I'm doing something wrong or if my fat is just to much for my joints to handle. My husband said that my running time is speeding up, I think he's just trying to make me feel good about myself.

How was your weekend? Hope you have a great week and tomorrow is my weigh-in!! We will see how the first week of counting calories went!!

Just checking in!!

Just wanted to say happy TGIF!! It's been a good day. I went to bible study this morning then took my daughter to lunch. Had Subway!! I was super proud of myself I had it without cheese and mayo!! We had water, too!! Then we went dress shopping. Erin has decided that she only wants to wear dresses. Well that's fine and all but she only has 3 dresses!! Found her a really cute one at Ross for only $8.99!! Now we are getting ready to go play up in the snow!!

Hope you have a great Friday and weekend!! Got anything planned? We are going out tomorrow night for my friends 30th so we will see how my weigh-in goes on Tuesday!!

I did it!!

Yesterday was day 1 of the from the couch to 5k program for me!! I actually was able to to do the running!! I took my daughter, my husband and my dog along with me and let me tell you that will not happen again. My daughter enjoyed running with me but she didn't want to run the full minute so thankfully my husband would stay with her. Our dog is an old man so at one point he actually just sat down and refused to move. I just continued on and let my husband deal with that. I know how mean of me but I needed to focus on the walking/running!!

                                           This is me after my walk/run!!

When I got home I felt so good!! I hear everyone talking about how good they feel after exercising and thought they were crazy, but I actually felt good. I know it's just the beginning but I'm looking forward to tomorrow when I can do it again. Just Tuesday of this week I would have never said I was looking forward to exercising!!

I have been doing really good with counting calories!! I really think this is the change that I needed. I love tracking my calories and totaling them at the end of the day and seeing that I'm staying within my range. I haven't felt deprived at all in fact I at homemade lasagna last night and was still in my range!! I feel as though I have a new lease on life and it's gonna be a good life!!

Have you done anything new? What is your exercise plan?

Check out this blog!

 Please check this blog out!!http://beautifulblendings.blogspot.com She is having an awesome giveaway this month!!  I would love to win these and what the company does is amazing!!

This is for me

Day one of counting calories done!! It went really good except I only ate about 800 calories. When I entered all my information on SparkPeople I got a message saying I need to eat more. I had to go grocery shopping after my daughter got out of school and by the time we got home it would only be a couple of hours before my husband got home. He has a evening class so we have to eat dinner before he goes to school. So I didn't want to make a lunch since I would be eating soon, so I made a smoothie. It was good but not a lot of calories :) We had turkey,bacon, avocado wraps. They were really good and I didn't deprive myself. I had 3, yes 3 pieces of bacon!!
I did really good yesterday with drinking my 8 glasses of water and getting my fruit and veggies in too!! So all in all I am proud of myself. Today I'm starting my new exercise program so we will see how that goes.
I had an epiphany today while I was vaccuming. I am working really hard on getting my weight and body healthy, but what about my inward self? I don't think I can do one without the other. I need to start working on my relationship with my husband and my daughter. I need to be a better housewife and just be more caring of myself. My husband is a full-time student and I shouldn't expect him to do everything around the house and not do anything. I have major depression but I have to stop using that as a crutch. If I'm gonna be home all day there is no reason why I can't clean, take care of my daughter etc. So that is my new goal, just to better myself in all areas not just one!!
Happy Wednesday!! Hope you have a good day !!

The Decision

Today I weighed in and didn't move at all. I'm okay with that though. We had pizza last night for dinner so it's okay.

So I have come to a decision on what path I'm gonna take. I'm gonna start counting calories. I've decided this is a better choice for me. I think this will help change my lifestyle rather than just lose weight and then still not know how to eat properly. Thanks to Becca for telling me about sparkpeople! I'm gonna start tracking my calories and exercise using that site, but I'm also going to continue using my journal.

I also want to give a shout out to Meagan for suggesting the couch to 5k plan!! I'm excited to get going on this!! Can't wait for the day when I start looking forward to running!! The plan seems like it's gonna work and it's great for people who are just starting on this journey.

So thanks everyone for your comments and encouraging me on this journey!! Wish me luck I'm going grocery shopping hopefully I can make good choices! Happy Tuesday everyone!!

Weekend update

I had a great weekend,we took Erin to Chuck E Cheese on saturday. We didn't have any pizza there and I drank water!! WOOHOO!! We have decided that from now on when we go we are taking a friend for Erin. She is only 4 so she can't just go by herself and let me tell you, my husband and I can only handle those games for so long. But, it was worth it she had a blast!!

On Sunday after church we started our spring cleaning. Cleaned out the hall closet and the spare bedroom. Worked for like 3 hours and it looks great. Still have a lot to do, but not moving so well today. I have a bad back and it didn't appreciate all the lifting, bending and just plain moving that I did. So today I'm taking it easy.

I'm trying to decide if I want to just start counting calories or continue on WW. I'm doing pretty good on the WW but I'm not sure if this is actually helping me make a lifestyle change. What's going to happen when I lose my weight am I going to know how to eat properly? I think if I start counting my calories then I will learn to make healthy choices without consulting my point system. I don't know I'm at a crossroad right now.  Another problem I have is I don't eat all my points and I'm afraid if I start counting calories I will do the same thing. I'm basically a point "nazi" My husband doesn't think I'm going to continue to lose weight since I only eat about half of my points a day. But, I'm not hungry, so I don't want to eat. I'm just confused, I guess.

So what do you think? Do you count calories, do WW or something else? Hope you had  a great weekend and have a wonderful Monday!!

ABC's of Lucky Girl

Thought this would be a fun way for you to get to know me a little bit. It was fun reading this on some of the blogs I follow!!

(A) Age: 29 gonna be 30 in October and I am super excited!! Can't wait to be out of my twenties!!
(B) Bed Size: Queen
(C) Chore You Hate: I'll be honest...I hate all chores!
(D) Dogs? We have a rottweiler lab mix named Rusty who is 10!! Love him!!
(E) Essential Start Your Day Item: Coffee!!
(F) Favorite Color: Blue, Pink and Orange (for Oregon State Beavers!!)
(G) Gold or Silver? Don't care
(H) Height: 5'7
(I) Instruments You Play: NONE!
(J) Job Title: First and foremost follower of Christ, mom, wife
(K) Kids: Erin who is 4
(L) Live: In Oregon was born in Alaska!
(M) Mom's Name: Maureen
(N) Nicknames: Maggie is actually my nickname my real name is Margarette
(O) Overnight Hospital Stays? 2...appendectomy and child birth
(P) Pet Peeve: I really dislike when I can hear people chewing
(Q) Quote from a Movie: I don't remember lines from movies even if I've seen them 100 times!!
(R) Right or Left Handed? Right.
(S) Siblings: 3: a half-sister, an older sister, and a younger brother
(T) Time You Wake Up? whenever my daughter does
(U) Underwear: This creeps me out!! But yes I do have them :)
(V) Vegetable You Dislike: tomatoes
(W) What Makes You Run Late: I hate running late, but if I get on the computer I lose track of time!!
(X) X-Rays You've Had Done: ankle,back,knee, wrist, just about everything imaginable, I'm a cluts!!
(Y) Yummy Food You Make: Lasagna, cheesecake!
(Z) Zoo, Favorite Animal: Love the elephants

Looking forward to reading your ABC's!!

Guess Post

I got invited to do my first guest post!!! YAY!!  My friend wanted me to write a post as to why I do the Relay for Life. So go check out my friends blog www.30formy30th.blogspot.com!! You can learn more about me than just the fact that I'm a fatty!!
Happy Friday and I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!!
Do you do any charity events like the Relay for Life? How long have you done them?

Why...

First of  IT'S SNOWING!!!!! I'm super excited and my daughter is even more excited. She can't wait to get out there and make a snow man.

Okay time to get back on track, today I thought I would list the reasons why I'm doing this. I have been thinking about this a lot the last few days and have come to realize that the reason this is working is I'm mostly doing this for myself and not because I feel like I have to. So here it goes.

• Be able to play with Erin
• Wear cute clothes
• Be healthy
• Feel pretty
• Be active
• Be able to feel my collarbone again
• Feel comfortable meeting new people
• Feel like my husband finds me attractive ( I know he does, but I don't feel like it)
• Make my family proud of me
• It will help with my health-depression, pre-diabetes
• Wear my bathing suit I bought 5 yrs ago after I lost all my weight, but ended up pregnant so didn't get to wear it. :(
• Feel comfortable in my own skin
• To like what I see in the mirror
• JUST TO BE HAPPY!!! 

These are not in any order but they all are important!! I'm off to enjoy the snow while it's here!!!

Exercising....

As I'm reading the blogs that I follow I just keep getting more and more depressed. I feel like I should be doing more to help myself on this journey, but I just don't know how to get started. I've been trying to go for a walk everyday but it's so hard for me to get motivated. I would much rather sit on my fat butt and watch tv or get consumed on this computer. That's not going to help me, I know but how do I get motivated and stay motivated?
I'm so ready to be skinny and healthy, but I'm at a loss here. I'm doing good with my eating for the most part, but exercising is not happening as regular as I would like and as it should be. I will do really good for a few days and then talk myself out of doing or not even think about it. I'm signing up to do the Relay for Life in June and would like to be in better shape by then. I have a few months until then, but if I keep going down this path I fear I will still be in this shape.

What worked for you? Do you have any suggestions, ideas or just some words of encouragement. Happy hump day everyone!!

Thanks Becca!!

I lost 1.9 lbs this week!! I'll take that!! Already have lost my goal for the month so that is awesome!!

I went for a walk last night and I actually jogged about half of it!! YAY!! I was pretty proud of myself. I despise running, but have decided that I need to give it a try. I have to admit that feeling all my fat ripple, shake, bounce while I ran was pretty disgusting, but no pain no gain!! If I keep it up pretty soon there will be no fat wave going on :)

I have to give major thanks to my best friend Becca www.30formy30th.blogspot.com for helping me out last night. I got a craving for pie so I texted her to ask if she wanted to go get some. She asked me how many points that would be and then suggested I make a smoothie instead!! I made me a strawberry, raspberry, blueberry smoothie and it hit the spot. That's how I know this time around I'm gonna be successful. I have a core group of people who will give me support or just tell me that's not worth it!! So thanks again Becca, I probably would have gained weight this week if it wasn't for you!!

Hope everyone has a great Tuesday!!

Rant

So I'm gonna go another direction today, instead of talking about my weight loss journey I'm gonna get a little more personal. Bare with me please. First off last night I found this sight with free backgrounds for blogs. I was all excited to change my blog! (You see, I'm never satisfied, I always think there's something better out there.) So I found a couple that I liked and finally chose THE ONE!! So I followed the directions and got my background all changed. I hated it and just wanted my original back. However, I couldn't remember how I made my original. So this is my new blog, I'm not saying I don't like this one but I want my original one back. I should now better by now, I'm almost 30 yrs old you would think I would have figured it out by now that most often my original pick is the best one.

Second of all my computer sucks...it froze just trying to turn on this morning and when I finally got it to start I couldn't get on the internet. I have deleted all the cookies, defragmented it and don't know what else to do with it. AAAAHHHHH!!!

Thirdly, today is Presidents Day!! So shouldn't we be celebrating our Presidents instead of  shopping. I just don't get why every holiday has to be made into a huge shopping day. I'm a very patriotic person and love this county and I just don't understand. Let's take a moment today and remember what this day is truly about, remember what our founding father's went through to make this the USA!!

On a brighter note I have finally figured out how to make smoothies. I know what your thinking come on Maggie how hard is it to make a smoothie...well for me it was hard. They always were either really bitter or just bland but now I've got it. For those of you who know me personally know that I can make cheesecakes, breads, pies from scratch but yet I can't make a smoothie. Maybe I over think it I don't know!

Sorry for all the negativity, it's just one of the days. Hope everyone has a wonderful Presidents Day and take a moment to reflect on the day!!

MIA

Sorry I haven't posted the last couple of days, I've been really sick. I started getting sick last week, but Tuesday I was feeling better so thought I was over the hump. Man was I wrong. Thanks to my wonderful husband I spent all of today in bed and I'm feeling a little better. The only good thing about being sick is I don't eat a lot. Can tell I'm feeling better because I'm starving!! Hope everyone has a great weekend!!

My new favorite thing

I have found my new favorite snack. It's the 100 calorie pack of almonds from Emerald. The dry roasted almonds are 2 pts on Weight Watchers (the old plan) and you get quite a bit. When you see the small package they come in you will first be doubtfull if this is worth the points. But, trust me they are!! They taste really good and are filling! Love them!!

My second favorite thing is Sweettarts Hearts. They are like conversation hearts but made my SweetTarts! You get 11 for 1 point. I know what you are thinking only 11, but they hit the spot. I have been craving something sweet and I have found it. I'm kicking myself though because I only got 1 bag and they were on clearance. I guess I'm headed back to the store today to get more!!


Happy Wednesday!! Hope everyone has a great hump day!!

Feeling Good

I'm feeling like I'm walking on a cloud!! Lost almost 5 lbs and had a wonderful Valentines Day with my family!! It's amazing how losing weight makes you feel so much better!! I know it's just the beginning and there are going to be bumps in the road but right now I'm feeling wonderful!!

I was listening to my local christian radio station the other day and they were talking to a local pastor who was talking about how we are so hard on ourselves. He made a really good point and that point is this. When a baby takes it's first step what do we do? We hug them, clap, video tape and just rejoice in how remarkable they are, but when we lose only 1 lb in a week what do we do? We put ourselves down; why didn't I lose more, maybe I should just quit. Maybe we should treat ourselves more like that baby, each little lb is a miracle and we should rejoice in that!!

I hope you all have a wonderful Tuesday and we can all learn to rejoice in each of our baby steps!!

Happy Valentines Day!!!

Love is in the air...or maybe that's the flu bug!!! Yes my whole family is sick :( That's okay though because we don't do anything for Valentines Day anyways. This weekend was a rough one with all of us being sick, but it was still nice just watching movies with the family and enjoying each other!

We made Turkey dinner on Saturday...Yummy!! It was so good and I'm super proud of myself. I didn't go back for seconds. I took small portions of everything, even a roll and was surprisingly satisfied with that. I'm a huge pie lover, okay a huge sweet lover, but I fought the urge to make a pie and instead made some jello!! So needless to say I'm super proud of myself!!

How was your weekend? Hope everyone has a great Valentines Day!! Weigh-in tomorrow!!!!

TGIF!!!

Don't really have anything to say and don't really feel so good so I thought I would post some pictures of my family!!

Our Family!!

My daughter Erin on her 4th birthday

Erin getting ready for her first Christmas Program

Joe and Erin the loves of my life!!

 

 

 Still to come my before picture!! Gotta let someone take a full-body picture of me :) Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!!

Confession

As many of you know I am newly a Christian, which has been amazing!! I have come to a conclusion over the past few days though. This blog and my weight loss journey has become my idol. I'm constantly thinking about what to eat, what to write, how many followers I have instead of thinking about Jesus, reading my scriptures and praying. Now I know that I can do both in my life but that's not what I have been doing. I wake up every morning and immediately go to my reader. I read over all the blog postings about weight loss and pass over the blogs about Jesus and scriptures. I do the same thing in my email.

I'm happy that I'm so motivated with this journey but I'm not happy that it has taken over my life. I need to put Jesus first and all other things will come. Hope everyone has an amazing day!!

What to eat

So yesterday I was snacking all day...yes it was fruit and other healthy food but still I was eating all day. It's that time of the month where all I want to do is eat and eat. I don't know what to do about it. I'm proud of myself for choosing health choices yesterday but I need some ideas for good snacks that hopefully will stop me from grazing like a cow. I can't do this every month, so if you have any ideas please let me know!! Hope everyone has a great hump day!!

UHHH!!

After all the hard work that I put into last week I go and screw it up with one day :( I was doing so good and I know that I had lost more than 1 lb during the week and then came the Superbowl. I had no self-control I ate everything around me and I had 3 glasses of wine.

I know this morning before I ever stepped on the scale that it was going to be bad but I didn't think it was going to be this bad. 1 freaking pound I'm so disgusted with myself. Why did I do this...oh I know because I'm a fatty with no self-control. Oh well this is a new week and a new day and I can do better this week. Thank goodness the Superbowl only comes once a year!!

So far so good

A little update from yesterday... I did awesome at community group!! I took water with me and all I had there was an orange!! I'm so proud of myself :) Today I went to another bible study and they had muffins there. I stayed clear of those too. I just might be able to do this!!


But, Sunday is the Superbowl. Super excited going to some friends house so that should be fun, but a little worried about how I'm gonna do. I don't want all this hard work from this past week to go down the drain in one day. But then again we never get out to social events so I'm thinking I shouldn't let that be my whole focus. I know, I know that I need to watch what I eat on Sunday, but I also know that if I'm stressing about what I eat the whole time I will not enjoy myself. I'm gonna stay positive and take veggies with me, I can't deprive myself or this will never work!!

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!!

On the road again!!

So far so good, but today is going to be my first big hurtle. I had lots of running around this morning which included going to the grocery store. I was pretty hungry by the time I got there and all I could see and smell were donuts, cookies, pie etc. but I did it!! I only bought fruits and veggies!! I came to a conclusion though I need to start carrying reinforcements with me. It's amazing how much you have to retrain your body and brain.

I have already noticed that I'm wanting water more then I have in the past. Coffee is my new best friend...had some flavored creamer and bam I have a treat!! But, tonight I have community group (bible study) and I'm really concerned about having the self-control not to go crazy. I'm gonna bring lots of water and hope for the best. I'm already thinking/wondering what everyones going to bring and hoping for something really tasty. I know I know that's not what I should be thinking about but I think it's gonna take a little while to get out of that mind frame. Whenever I go to a social gathering that is my first thought what is everyone going to bring to eat.

I really need to change that way of thinking. Any suggestions?

OMG!!

So I have had a severe migraine since yesterday and I thought it was just the stress of going to Wal-Mart to get all my groceries. Well I was wrong!! I'm pretty sure my body is going through withdrawals and that's why I have such a bad migraine. My body can't figure out where all the sugar,fat, calories, just plain crappy stuff is and why I'm eating so much healthy stuff. I know that this will past but I have to admit this sucks. I'm gonna get through it though nothing's gonna get in my way this time!!

First Day of the new me

So I did it! I weighed myself and there was a lot of damage!! lol I weigh 264.9. I'm going to weigh myself every Tuesday. I went to the grocery store and got all the healthy food. Wow, I forgot how expensive eating healthy is. I know it's going to be worth it in the end but no wonder I eat such crappy food that's all I can afford. When I got all the food put away I was starving but was so overwhelmed with all my choices I couldn't figure out what to eat. I guess that's a good thing, but it's still challenging starting a new way of eating and figuring out what to eat. So I had  a frozen meal and some yogurt. I feel really good, I'm full and only had 5 pts. total for lunch. Now what to have for dinner...ugh it's a never ending cycle. I know it's gonna get easier and pretty soon I won't even have to really think about what I'm gonna eat, it's just getting to that point.

To Weigh or Not to Weigh that is the question.

Now I'm getting nervous, tomorrow morning I have to put my fat butt on the scale and see the damage. I know it's something I have to do but I don't want too. If  I actually see the numbers then that means I'm actually that fat. I don't picture myself as being fat I still see the skinny one who lost all the weight. That is until I get on a scale, see pictures of me, see myself in the mirror and those are all things that I can stay away from. Just gotta keep reminding myself what my goals are and that I can do this. I've done it once before so there is no reason I can't do it again. 16hrs and counting...

It's almost "D" day!!

I'm getting real excited about starting the process of becoming the new me. 2 days and counting, i'm still pigging out though :( I know this isn't the right way to begin but I can't stop my self. I'm a little afraid of what's going to happen on Tuesday when I get the munchies. I just have to remember what my ultimate goal is and it's going to take a while to get there. It's kind of funny how easy it is to gain the weight but it's so hard to lose it. I'm going to start my shopping list today so this should be fun. Gotta figure out what I'm gonna drink, I can't drink diet soda and don't want to have to only drink water. I'll figure it out. Have a wonderful Sunday!!

Getting ready for the new me!!

So starting February 1st I'm going back on to Weight Watchers. I'm tired of having my picture taken and looking like a fat cow. So I decided last week that it's time for a change. I have previously done WW and did really well. So since I decided this I have since made a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting, ate fish & chips, ate tons of pasta etc. Gotta get it all out of my system. I know what a wonderful way to get started by gaining more weight. Oh well that's what I do best.